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The 2023-24 San Jose Sharks Eulogy



The San Jose Sharks 2023-24 season has mercifully come to a close. Start with how tough of a season this has been for Sharks’ fans and the hope that this will be rock bottom for the fanbase and franchise in their rebuild. Look at some of the statistics for the team, including the 10th-worst goal differential in NHL history and who finished as points leaders on the team. Then, look at what is next for the Sharks, why they need to start building things up after this season, and what to expect from Locked on Sharks in the offseason. Finally, the NHL Central Scouting released their final rankings and review the player movement from the midterms and who could be available for the Sharks at the 2024 NHL Draft.

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7 Comments

  1. Someone had linked a pre-TDL (no TBL 3rd, no Chicago 5th) draft simulator and I was very happy with my draft even though I know most of the players won't be available where I got them.

    1 (1). Macklin Celebrini – 6'0 – 190 – C
    16 (1). Zeev Buium – 6'0 – 183 – D
    33 (2). Charlie Elick – 6'3 ÂĽ – 200 – D
    49 (2). Alfons Freij – 6'0 ½ – 187 – D
    122 (4). Daniil Ustinkov – 6'0 – 198 – D
    145 (5). Ilya Nabokov – 6' 0" – 179 – Goalie
    194 (7). Miroslav Satan – 6' 7" – 190 – Center
    210 (7). Tyler Thorpe – 6' 4" – 209 – Right Wing

    With the 3rd round pick I would've tried to trade up (maybe throw a 7th or something in to go up from 84-86 where the TBL 3rd will be unless they reach the ECF in which case it's 94-97) to get Luke Misa (went 83rd) or Teddy Stiga (went 79th). If I couldn't trade up I'd probably grab Ryarson Leenders who went 88th.

    With the 5th (131) I'd grab Brodie Ziemer who went 137.

    Ilya has no relation to Nabby, but I was taking him 80% because of the name. Likewise for Miroslav Satan Jr (he's actually Miroslav Satan's son)…I have no real info that deep in the draft so I was picking relatively random names.

  2. JD, last year you did an episode where you ran a simulation and then picked which available players you liked. That was super fun. Can we do that again?

  3. It was just amazing how bad the season/team was. After the 2nd blowout game I just had to laugh at the team

  4. We should all hope that Mike Grier is learning from the mistakes or miscalculations of his first 2 years as GM. The plan to amass UFAs and struggling players, rehab their game, and then trade them to other teams doing playoff runs who will pay extra for these assets has proven wrong. Sharks had to trade Hertl (their best player) because nobody wanted Hoffman, Labanc, Barabanov or Rutta (their struggling players). The return on star players traded away by Sharks is hard to measure at this point, and some advantage is gained when trading away bad contracts or UFAs not returning any way, so it won't be reasonable to judge Mike Grier for some time. Grier has been hiding from media and suffering fans because there isn't much to say about the worst team in the NHL this season, or the prospect of not making playoffs for many more years.

    Better management, player procurement and player development is the only path to winning future for Sharks but it is a steep, uphill climb and battle against rival teams who don't stop improving just so your team can keep up. One champion in a league of 32 teams (and likely expanding) is a cruel fate for the majority of teams. My view is that Sharks are stuck in a ghetto class of teams (Ottawa, Arizona, Columbus, Anaheim and San Jose) that have such deep problems in their management systems, they require major or revolutionary changes in staff to transform themselves into Stanley Cup contenders. Other teams, such as Boston, Tampa Bay, and Vegas have proven that the best quality management can keep teams at top of NHL rankings year after year while their ghetto non-rivals never get going in right direction.

    JD, I think the best approach for Sharks podcasters is to incorporate more stand up comedy techniques into your analysis, emphasizing the absurdity and laughs where you can get them for desperate fans without a chance of winning. (If you want to understand the philosophy of comedy, search online for manuscript called Comedy Matters: Laughing-games in a Viral Joke-World by Tony Couture, it is free for any one to read. You can also watch more Joe Rogan Experience when he interviews stand up comics, or read autobiographies of famous stand up comedians, or go out to comedy clubs, etc.) It isn't a matter of NHL losers always eventually turning into winners due to draft pick advantages and charity trades from other teams feeling sorry for them (an egalitarian ethos among teams who practice mutual aid). The NHL winners keep trying to outfox and outdo the NHL losers, using luck, Hockey sense or IQ, and financial gambles to perpetuate their domination while no one should feel sorry for bottom dwelling teams. NHL is ultimately a game involving 31 losers and only 1 winner each year, so podcasting cannot usually be based on winning orientation and domination of other teams but requires some comic relief to lessen the pain and depression of losing so much.

  5. This season was painful but very necessary. The top teams today went through their doldrums 5 years ago. It’s cyclical. We were spoiled with 15 years of winning. We’ll be back.

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